We’re nearing the middle of fall, the trees are looking a little more bare, the days are cooler, and the sun is setting earlier and earlier. Late fall and the winter months are typically really tough for me and my mental health. I’m a person that craves the sun, warmth, and essentially everything that Milwaukee winters aren’t known for being. To make matters even more intense, we’re 7 months into a pandemic with no end in sight, I’m virtual schooling three children, work, and one of the most stressful election seasons. It’s been a lot, which is why I shared this picture on social media, we need to SEE that we’re not the only ones struggling at times.

I feel called to share a glimpse into my life and how I’m navigating these issues because I KNOW that I’m not the only one going through hard times. If I’m being honest, a lot of what I’m feeling now resembles what I was feeling during my early years as a parent and deeply struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. I felt extremely isolated, I lived on my phone/social media, and I researched the fuck out of everything all while feeling like I was drowning. It’s no big deal or anything, amirite? 

As I said, there’s been a lot of crossover with living covid-life and so far the impact on my anxiety and depression has been similar at times too. Thankfully I’ve done a lot of work and built up a fairly solid mental health tool box over the last few years and am coping in *mostly* healthy ways (I drink way too much coffee and eat treats whenever possible because I have friends who like to cook).  I still have days where getting out of bed and living life feels difficult but it’s not as often as it probably would be without these tools. So here is what I’ve been doing to take care of myself, I hope you find something that helps you too!

*I want to note that I am NOT a mental health professional, you have to discuss some of these options with your care provider. This is just what helps ME.*

These first THREE are essentials for me as somebody who lives with lifelong anxiety and depression, when I start to slack with these then my life starts to crumble and I have to put more focus into collecting all of the pieces. 

• Lexapro- I waited years to get back on medication, it was my last resort but I wish I would’ve started it sooner because it’s changed my life tremendously. I was on medication during my teen years but becoming a parent triggered my anxiety and depression.

• Vitamin D- living in the midwest like we do, most of us are deficient because of winter. I have my doctor check my levels periodically to ensure I’m where I should be (which is almost never)

• SAD Lamp- remember how I mentioned fall and winter being hardest for me? Hello- seasonal depression on top of my regular depression and a lot of triggering memories. I turn my lamp on as soon as my morning coffee is ready. I sit down at my desk and work with it for most of the early morning, especially on the cloudy days. 

  
  

  
  

At the beginning of 2020 all three kids were in school full time and it finally felt like this was meant to be MY year. I was diving deeper into my business and planning to expand into a physical space. I was learning from some of the industry’s leading photographers and ready to implement new practices. Then Covid hit and I went from living at 100mph to a complete halt which sent a major shock through my system and I needed to reflect and realign myself in order to find my way again.

I’ve put together a list of other tools I’ve been using that I hope will help you too!

• Rest- Maintaining good quality sleep needs to be a priority for me when I notice my mental health slipping. I’m a prolific napper, everybody in my life knows that I don’t respond then I’m probably napping.

• Nourishing foods- This one is a struggle for me at times. My appetite can be all over the place so I need to try to be intentional and listen to my body so I can respond intuitively.

• Movement- Finding ways to move your body in ways that feel good is important. We know that it’s good for us physically but the endorphins are mood boosters too! I won’t lie that I struggle the most with this and eating nourishing foods but I notice a huge difference when I put more thought and effort into creating regularity. 

• Saying “NO”- It can be hard and sometimes we know we’ll let somebody else down but respecting your own limits is crucial, we simply cannot do it all. 

• Reconnect- This one is hard because we can’t connect in person like many of us would prefer but I think it’s important to find ways to reconnect with your friends or family who typically support you. Being able to vent or talk through anything you’re struggling with is huge. 

• Disconnect- social media is so tricky because it’s such an easy way to connect with the people we care about but it’s also easy to spiral depending on our news feeds. It’s ok to log out for a few hours at a time or more if you need it!

• Playing Music- honestly I have music playing most of my day. It motivates me as I work at my desk or do chores around the house. Another major perk for me is that it helps mask the sounds of the kids classes or them playing/fighting. I’m very easily triggered by loud sounds and I get very overwhelmed so there are times I’m using headphones during all of this. 

• Hobbies and projects- since we’re at home indefinitely working on a project or hobby of yours that you’ve put off can be really calming when you find yourself feeling anxious and extremely satisfying when you’ve finally finished whatever it is! Right now I’ve been using this time to reorganize and purge the house, repaint, and expand my plant collection!

• GOING OUTSIDE- The fresh air, feeling the ground under my feet, and feeling the sun on my face helps a TON even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time!

I know it seems like a basic, simple list of things that help shift focus back onto yourself in a neutral way, but these are things that we’re all guilty of forgetting when we’re under such extreme stress and pressure. Take what you need, mix and match to fit your lifestyle and routine. 

If you’re in the Milwaukee area and find yourself needing extra perinatal mental health support, I’d suggest reaching out to Moms Mental Health Initiative. They’ve got a great list of local providers and offer an incredible virtual peer support group. If you’re located anywhere else I’d encourage you to reach out to Postpartum Support International in whichever way works best for you. They can help connect you to local resources and they have weekly virtual peer support groups as well!